Then, I did it again. After the second one I felt emotionally drained, anxious, somewhat empty but not in the good way I am used to feeling after a grindcore gig. It was just a void. But still, when I looked at the two cassettes I had made, it made me feel somesort of empty sensation of accomplishment. Like just plain "it is done." So, being the self-destructive, self-annihilating fly splitter that I am, I could not wait to record the last one today. So, now, 4 and a half hours of making and recording new, improvised music on the fly, I feel somehow happy. I have three albums, all running ninety minutes. They are the only copies in the world. There will never be more. They are 10 euros each, and I am completely satisfied if no one ever wants to buy them. I like them, and I might even listen to them by myself. I am tempted by the idea of maybe keeping them for myself, and then just playing them to other people who happen to come by. Maybe I'll just do that. Maybe not.
To me, this sort of music is the REAL music. I have played in bands for years, made hundreds of songs already and played around 200 or more shows I think. Still, during the last year I have understood that what really speaks to me is improvisation, either alone or with other people. That is the reason Cut To Fit does not have setlists and we decide the songs were going to play on the fly, it gives you a complete freedom. No one is in control. It's all created in the moment. That's the best part of it. Now I've got to improvise music with other people, and it is just so satisfying to do live. But this thing I have by myself, this is my own secret garden, my nocturnal delights, my own sweet drones, solitude speaking through my fingers, singing songs of death and longing, silence and compassion, maybe some of love too. It is just raw, unfiltered emotion as noise. So its practically emo noise? I don't know. There's only this one clip which features a small clip of the music, this one is from I'll Grow My Hair Long So I Don't Need A Rope When I Decide To Go.
|One Grasps The Earth, The Other Pulls The Sky|
|Inside The Temples Of The Mind Even The Wise Go Blind|
|I'll Grow My Hair Long So I Don't Need A Rope When I Decide To Go|