sunnuntai 30. marraskuuta 2014

This year in a nutshell.

Portugal shut its door in front of me, which I totally understand. Maybe I was not ready for that sort of change anyhow, the biggest question in my mind was "How about Cut to Fit?" We're currently writing the last songs of the next album, Black Mouth. It will be surreal, disturbing and desolating soundscape, and we hope to make this songs the justice they deserve. My brother hates Neurosis, and still he is able to create riffs that tingle that certain "Neurosis-place" in my soul, that's probably because of everything we've been through, and he just does not quite catch the drift of Neurosis, since I always turned to it. Still it's something that resonates with people like us.

We'll be probably playing another European tour sometime next year too, and I hope we'll catch some more opportunities to play anywhere. We don't mind if we don't get paid, we are ready to lose all our money, all our time and all our life for this. That's why we don't give a shit about anything. Life is what it is, it kicks you in the teeth and then you'll make an album out of it. This year has been really controversial in my life. I was working, I got loads of money (still I did not even get close to struggling my way out of the Finnish poverty index) and it made me more anxious. I have always been dirt poor, and I'm used to it. I don't mind not having money, because life is free. Music is free. And that's all I need. It's the only purpose for me on this planet. This album will be all about the Black Mouth of Conformism, that I felt was swallowing me little by little. The psychic black hole that leave you empty inside, your eyes fixed on your urban survival, just get through this day and numb your mind for the rest of it- it is not the life I want to lead. Of course it's not all that bad. I met some really awesome fucking people and felt good about my work. But I have quite high ethical and moral expectations for myself, and a working mentality of a mule, so if I have promised to work, I fucking will. I will work until the work is done, and rest only after it's done, so before soon I'll be done for myself.

And now I am free to express all this through this grindcore album that's on it's way, I get to play this music with my Family. I'll have far less money, but it's ok. I'll settle for what I get.

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