sunnuntai 30. marraskuuta 2014

This year in a nutshell.

Portugal shut its door in front of me, which I totally understand. Maybe I was not ready for that sort of change anyhow, the biggest question in my mind was "How about Cut to Fit?" We're currently writing the last songs of the next album, Black Mouth. It will be surreal, disturbing and desolating soundscape, and we hope to make this songs the justice they deserve. My brother hates Neurosis, and still he is able to create riffs that tingle that certain "Neurosis-place" in my soul, that's probably because of everything we've been through, and he just does not quite catch the drift of Neurosis, since I always turned to it. Still it's something that resonates with people like us.

We'll be probably playing another European tour sometime next year too, and I hope we'll catch some more opportunities to play anywhere. We don't mind if we don't get paid, we are ready to lose all our money, all our time and all our life for this. That's why we don't give a shit about anything. Life is what it is, it kicks you in the teeth and then you'll make an album out of it. This year has been really controversial in my life. I was working, I got loads of money (still I did not even get close to struggling my way out of the Finnish poverty index) and it made me more anxious. I have always been dirt poor, and I'm used to it. I don't mind not having money, because life is free. Music is free. And that's all I need. It's the only purpose for me on this planet. This album will be all about the Black Mouth of Conformism, that I felt was swallowing me little by little. The psychic black hole that leave you empty inside, your eyes fixed on your urban survival, just get through this day and numb your mind for the rest of it- it is not the life I want to lead. Of course it's not all that bad. I met some really awesome fucking people and felt good about my work. But I have quite high ethical and moral expectations for myself, and a working mentality of a mule, so if I have promised to work, I fucking will. I will work until the work is done, and rest only after it's done, so before soon I'll be done for myself.

And now I am free to express all this through this grindcore album that's on it's way, I get to play this music with my Family. I'll have far less money, but it's ok. I'll settle for what I get.

keskiviikko 5. marraskuuta 2014


I raised my hands in a prayer towards the skies
There was no answer, just the same old dull grayness
Endless skies above me, skies that looked exactly like the earth around me. It was all alike, all the same, all exactly the same. No difference whatsoever.
Everywhere I went, everywhere I turned my head
it was all the same, color of the burnt dirt
Color of my father's eyes, the deep gray all over.
I thought this would purify me, I thought this would cleanse me, I thought this would save me.
But I should already know there is no such thing as redemption. We are all cursed, all abandoned, all alike. All burnt dirt. Just waiting to be wiped away.
Do I sound depressing? I apologize, for that is not my intention. My intention is solely to amuse, but as you probably noticed, my sense of humor is kinda bleak. Like a tumor in the brain.
I've seen too many politicians spewing filth upon good people, I've seen too many priests abusing the trust of the innocent, I've seen far too many mothers killing their children to believe in good. I've seen the fathers break their sons' legs and tell them to run. I've heard the snap of the bone, seen a limb give up under pressure.
I wipe the spit off my lips. I need to calm down, I know, I know.
This city is a dead rat, an empty bomb shell,
a forgotten grave on the side of the road.
It's full of dead people who just weren't told they were supposed to die a long time ago.
They think it all will turn out good in the end.
But there will be no end. They will never see such thing.
There is none.
My eyes are filled with doubt
My skull is full of mud
I try to open my dry mouth
but I find it's sewn shut
I hope to find a way
to understand my own position
and to ease this fix by approximation
But I find it's not my decision.
I can't be held responsible
for all the mumble I release
It's always just an attempt to find
a temporary ease
So please, if you do mind anything I say
Just strangle me with piano-wire and
make me go away.
For I am not here to irritate
I am not here to amuse either.
I am here to prove a point and to
burn alive in front of your eyes.
I am here to burn
I am here to burn
I am here to burn alive
Until I'm nothing but dust.

tiistai 4. marraskuuta 2014

A full show on youtube.

Here is a brand new show from last saturday, mostly just new songs, since we are on our way towards the next record. It will be a blast. Literally. We will tune everything down, we will tear ourselves up and rip everything apart. This is a sort of sneak preview to the new music, almost all of it. We still have about six more songs we want to do, and we'll get to them soon enough. Until then, these are here.

The songs deal with my life during the last year. I wanted to call it Black Mouth, but guys didn't quite see it, so it will be something else. They are about a life that is about to end.They are more or less about the end. It does not mean I would be killing myself, or even thinking of it, far from it. This death is not a death, but a process of weeding out things you don't need. I've been working all year, and I have more money than I ever had in my life. Still it's not enough to drag me out of the definition of poverty, but it's far more than I need for living. We're moving out of this big apartment, selling everything and leaving this life of plastic behind. About to reborn. It calms my mind, but I am glad I got to do these lyrics for Cut To Fit, because they really fit the songs. They are the songs. They carry their own weight, I get to scream those things out, and they come with full force. I know I am priviledged to have something like this. It makes my life perfect, no matter how fucked up everything seems to be. If you want us to play somewhere near you, contact us through Facebook or via e-mail: .