sunnuntai 5. lokakuuta 2014

Life throws you interesting curveballs at times.

This morning when I was sleeping at my brothers place, I had a sleep paralysis. It was more like a hallucination, I was fully conscious, aware of my surroundings and of myself, I just thought they were some construction workers on the balcony, cursing and smoking and working. It seemed legit enough to be reality, so I paid it no further attention, until I fell asleep again and then woke up later on, noticing their crane missing from the balcony, realizing that it was just a dream, although I thought I was fully awake. Still, I'm kinda used to these sort of things, I find them interesting and intriguing, giving me more insight on my subconscious, more fuel for the music and images and words.

I was given an interesting opportunity. I applied for a job at Eures-sites, then forgot all about it, since it usually is the case that no one ever answers your e-mails in this day and age. Suddenly I had a phone call and now I am apparently going to Portugal in two weeks for a short observation/getting to know people-trip, and if everything runs smoothly, I might have a job in Portugal from next January on. I am excited and thrilled, I'm not usually the kind of guy who likes to run his mouth, but I realize I talk about this all the time to everyone I meet. Although it's probably quite natural, considering the randomness of this event, I think I'm still the one most surprised about this, it's starting to get on my nerves. It fills me with doubt, what if after all this boasting I don't get the job, and end up living in my brother's kitchen? Well, then that's life and I'll just need to accept it. But if I get the job, it'll be at least for a year or two, so it will affect this band thing for sure. But I'm not that afraid, since I know this thing is for life, and jobs come and go. And as long as I'm offered a job, I might as well work. Try to learn what's there to learn. I am beginning to understand that I don't completely suck at what I do, that I am worthy of the trust appointed to me, although it took quite a long while to understand. Still, I am grateful for every single moment of my life, no matter what it brings. It's all good, far better than not existing at all.

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