lauantai 11. lokakuuta 2014

Towards something new.

There is a slight chance, that I might move to Portugal from beginning of the next year. It is a thought so intriguing I find it hard to contain this excitement to myself, though I  don't want to put any sort of hex upon it. Although it would be great chance to learn and experience and to work, it still arises some doubts in my mind. I think this is fairly natural, to have some doubts, since you don't know what it will be like, and it's of course going to take you out of the country your band is in. But I know we're in  this for life, so a year or two won't hurt it that much. It will survive. Because we are family.

In the meanwhile I'm just waiting for all this to clear up and try to focus on my work and on the new album. It's almost done, at least material-wise, then we need to start actually rehearsing it and then record, hopefully before I leave. I'm quite excited, since it will without a doubt crush some balls and faces and grind the living hell out of everything. I have more than enough lyrics, but there's still always some uncertainty, when you have not heard the songs and don't know how they will be like. Next weekend I'm flying to Portugal, but after that it will be rehearsamania for as long as I am here. And then in the November I'll hear if I'm going to move or not.

I recently made an Tumblr-account, to round up all the things I've done. It's mostly pictures, but there's also links to music, containing a somewhat full discography of mine, thought it's arranged by bands and then time, which is probably not the smartest move. It also does not include any of my older bands, just these projects I have now. I'm currently trying to do as much everything as possible, just for the sake of doing things. I enjoy doing everything by myself, and I just found out this also applies for cars, though I do not understand that much about them. Nevertheless, that does not stop me. Learning new stuff always drives me forth. No matter what I'm learning.

sunnuntai 5. lokakuuta 2014

Life throws you interesting curveballs at times.

This morning when I was sleeping at my brothers place, I had a sleep paralysis. It was more like a hallucination, I was fully conscious, aware of my surroundings and of myself, I just thought they were some construction workers on the balcony, cursing and smoking and working. It seemed legit enough to be reality, so I paid it no further attention, until I fell asleep again and then woke up later on, noticing their crane missing from the balcony, realizing that it was just a dream, although I thought I was fully awake. Still, I'm kinda used to these sort of things, I find them interesting and intriguing, giving me more insight on my subconscious, more fuel for the music and images and words.

I was given an interesting opportunity. I applied for a job at Eures-sites, then forgot all about it, since it usually is the case that no one ever answers your e-mails in this day and age. Suddenly I had a phone call and now I am apparently going to Portugal in two weeks for a short observation/getting to know people-trip, and if everything runs smoothly, I might have a job in Portugal from next January on. I am excited and thrilled, I'm not usually the kind of guy who likes to run his mouth, but I realize I talk about this all the time to everyone I meet. Although it's probably quite natural, considering the randomness of this event, I think I'm still the one most surprised about this, it's starting to get on my nerves. It fills me with doubt, what if after all this boasting I don't get the job, and end up living in my brother's kitchen? Well, then that's life and I'll just need to accept it. But if I get the job, it'll be at least for a year or two, so it will affect this band thing for sure. But I'm not that afraid, since I know this thing is for life, and jobs come and go. And as long as I'm offered a job, I might as well work. Try to learn what's there to learn. I am beginning to understand that I don't completely suck at what I do, that I am worthy of the trust appointed to me, although it took quite a long while to understand. Still, I am grateful for every single moment of my life, no matter what it brings. It's all good, far better than not existing at all.