I just finished reading Brad Warner's Hardcore Zen, which I found to be quite an interesting and entertaining read. Of course there is some popularization of zen and some hip & cool music references, but I think no one who's had something to do with music can avoid them. I know I can't. Still it made me feel that there is something right in this world, when books like this get published (it was published ten years ago, so it really was here before I was, so who am I to say jack shit?) and recognized. They show intelligent individuals with a healthy approach towards life and especially themselves, the need to dig deeper and to get to know yourself. That has been my main quest on this planet too, since the day I was born.
To me Cut To Fit is pretty heavily about zen. I can't say it's all about it, because there are of course two other human beings involved, and they have their own views and morals and lives which I can't and won't control. As I said in an interview while back, to me grindcore is pretty much a spiritual practice, meditation. It's why I have wanted to keep it simple, just me, my brother and our best friend, the two people who REALLY know me, and who understand how we are supposed to do this thing. It is not an ordinary band. It' our family, our church, our life. It's one voice, one guitar and drums. Nothing more, nothing less. It's minimalistic, it's nothing more than it is. No epic guitar leads, no ego, it's just what it is. And nearly every show, with just few exceptions, has been just pure redemption. Some shows you just play through, and you think you're completely lost. You can't help it. Then you just focus on doing your best, it does not bother me afterwards at all. When we're playing, I don't think. At all. I am void of all things, only the words burning in my spirit. I don't even need to remember them most of the time, unless the song is brand new. I don't want to leave words out or just blabber whatever, the words are the passage to my meditation. If I get out of breath, so be it. The words need to come out of me, so I can be a better person to everyone around me. There's no higher purpose, it just helps me see myself from a distance.
Now, mainly because of this book, I have decided to include zazen meditation among my daily activities, because staring the walls might just be what I need right now. Life is good, right here, right now.