keskiviikko 24. joulukuuta 2014
I'm not sure why I started writing this. Probably only because I feel so fucking electric. I can't stop. And I won't stop. There's no way I could stop as long as I breathe. I need to do this. All of this. All the time. Or I'll fucking explode. And I don't want that. So there is no choice, there are no options, just this. And I need to carry on typing for as long as I am, and therefore pour my existence into words, to fully understand, that I exist only because I reflect on my existence through this. And there's nothing more to it. Mere existence, observing itself.
I think I'll go write something else. Thank you for reading.
lauantai 13. joulukuuta 2014
We have roughly seven billion people on this planet. These people have roughly four and a half thousand religions that more or less dictate their religionship with their mortality and their relationship with each other. We have no other place to live this life right now, than the current one. Over and over again I encounter anti-religious people, who happen to be even more close minded and bigoted than most of the religious one's I've met. I find this rather strange, since I considered this "side" to be the one with reason and common sense under its belt.
I have never believed in god. I tried to when I was a kid, but it only made me feel more anxious over every possible thing in life. And I did not want to spend all my life in fear of dying, as I did back then. Though I think if something, the fear of dying has taught me to be more empathetic towards religions. We just newd to understand what they are. Belief systems to help you cope with reality. Although there are stupid people in this world, we ahould not let the possibilities of meeting someone awesome be prevented just because we believe in different things. I have always had friends, intelligent people who believe in god, reincarnation, norse gods or vibrant energies. It does not prevent an intelligent discussion anyhow, that we see death otherwise. What seems to be the only reasonable and logical solution to me does not seem to be the most logical solution for someone else. And that's just fine as long as there ia mutual respect towards each other, and at least sone sort of setting of manners.
What are you afraid of? That you'll get sucked into a whirlpool of bigoted stupidity and lose your ability to think? Are you afraid of starting to believe? If you know yourself, if you know where you stand, you should not be afraid of other people shaking your beliefs. I think we all have the right to decide what makes our mortality easier to accept. And the biggest reason most religious people are so stuck with their interpretation of the bible is just that. If gay marriages are not causing apocalypse, there migjt be something else that won't hold water. That might mean that we don't get to go to heaven to wat cake with our relatives after we die. And it's not just christianity. All religions are part of our culture, interesting symbolic stories from our past. That's how we ahould look at them, because all religions tend to say practically the same thing: don't be a fucking cunt. So why should people without religion be cunts instead? I think, that morals and deeper understanding of life arw not privileges confined within the small walls of religion, but belong to us all, so that we can develop our own individuality and get to know ourselves on this ride before we die.
sunnuntai 30. marraskuuta 2014
We'll be probably playing another European tour sometime next year too, and I hope we'll catch some more opportunities to play anywhere. We don't mind if we don't get paid, we are ready to lose all our money, all our time and all our life for this. That's why we don't give a shit about anything. Life is what it is, it kicks you in the teeth and then you'll make an album out of it. This year has been really controversial in my life. I was working, I got loads of money (still I did not even get close to struggling my way out of the Finnish poverty index) and it made me more anxious. I have always been dirt poor, and I'm used to it. I don't mind not having money, because life is free. Music is free. And that's all I need. It's the only purpose for me on this planet. This album will be all about the Black Mouth of Conformism, that I felt was swallowing me little by little. The psychic black hole that leave you empty inside, your eyes fixed on your urban survival, just get through this day and numb your mind for the rest of it- it is not the life I want to lead. Of course it's not all that bad. I met some really awesome fucking people and felt good about my work. But I have quite high ethical and moral expectations for myself, and a working mentality of a mule, so if I have promised to work, I fucking will. I will work until the work is done, and rest only after it's done, so before soon I'll be done for myself.
And now I am free to express all this through this grindcore album that's on it's way, I get to play this music with my Family. I'll have far less money, but it's ok. I'll settle for what I get.
keskiviikko 5. marraskuuta 2014
There was no answer, just the same old dull grayness
Endless skies above me, skies that looked exactly like the earth around me. It was all alike, all the same, all exactly the same. No difference whatsoever.
Everywhere I went, everywhere I turned my head
it was all the same, color of the burnt dirt
Color of my father's eyes, the deep gray all over.
I thought this would purify me, I thought this would cleanse me, I thought this would save me.
But I should already know there is no such thing as redemption. We are all cursed, all abandoned, all alike. All burnt dirt. Just waiting to be wiped away.
Do I sound depressing? I apologize, for that is not my intention. My intention is solely to amuse, but as you probably noticed, my sense of humor is kinda bleak. Like a tumor in the brain.
I've seen too many politicians spewing filth upon good people, I've seen too many priests abusing the trust of the innocent, I've seen far too many mothers killing their children to believe in good. I've seen the fathers break their sons' legs and tell them to run. I've heard the snap of the bone, seen a limb give up under pressure.
I wipe the spit off my lips. I need to calm down, I know, I know.
This city is a dead rat, an empty bomb shell,
a forgotten grave on the side of the road.
It's full of dead people who just weren't told they were supposed to die a long time ago.
They think it all will turn out good in the end.
But there will be no end. They will never see such thing.
There is none.
My eyes are filled with doubt
My skull is full of mud
I try to open my dry mouth
but I find it's sewn shut
I hope to find a way
to understand my own position
and to ease this fix by approximation
But I find it's not my decision.
I can't be held responsible
for all the mumble I release
It's always just an attempt to find
a temporary ease
So please, if you do mind anything I say
Just strangle me with piano-wire and
make me go away.
For I am not here to irritate
I am not here to amuse either.
I am here to prove a point and to
burn alive in front of your eyes.
I am here to burn
I am here to burn
I am here to burn alive
Until I'm nothing but dust.
tiistai 4. marraskuuta 2014
The songs deal with my life during the last year. I wanted to call it Black Mouth, but guys didn't quite see it, so it will be something else. They are about a life that is about to end.They are more or less about the end. It does not mean I would be killing myself, or even thinking of it, far from it. This death is not a death, but a process of weeding out things you don't need. I've been working all year, and I have more money than I ever had in my life. Still it's not enough to drag me out of the definition of poverty, but it's far more than I need for living. We're moving out of this big apartment, selling everything and leaving this life of plastic behind. About to reborn. It calms my mind, but I am glad I got to do these lyrics for Cut To Fit, because they really fit the songs. They are the songs. They carry their own weight, I get to scream those things out, and they come with full force. I know I am priviledged to have something like this. It makes my life perfect, no matter how fucked up everything seems to be. If you want us to play somewhere near you, contact us through Facebook or via e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org .
lauantai 11. lokakuuta 2014
In the meanwhile I'm just waiting for all this to clear up and try to focus on my work and on the new album. It's almost done, at least material-wise, then we need to start actually rehearsing it and then record, hopefully before I leave. I'm quite excited, since it will without a doubt crush some balls and faces and grind the living hell out of everything. I have more than enough lyrics, but there's still always some uncertainty, when you have not heard the songs and don't know how they will be like. Next weekend I'm flying to Portugal, but after that it will be rehearsamania for as long as I am here. And then in the November I'll hear if I'm going to move or not.
I recently made an Tumblr-account, to round up all the things I've done. It's mostly pictures, but there's also links to music, containing a somewhat full discography of mine, thought it's arranged by bands and then time, which is probably not the smartest move. It also does not include any of my older bands, just these projects I have now. I'm currently trying to do as much everything as possible, just for the sake of doing things. I enjoy doing everything by myself, and I just found out this also applies for cars, though I do not understand that much about them. Nevertheless, that does not stop me. Learning new stuff always drives me forth. No matter what I'm learning.
sunnuntai 5. lokakuuta 2014
I was given an interesting opportunity. I applied for a job at Eures-sites, then forgot all about it, since it usually is the case that no one ever answers your e-mails in this day and age. Suddenly I had a phone call and now I am apparently going to Portugal in two weeks for a short observation/getting to know people-trip, and if everything runs smoothly, I might have a job in Portugal from next January on. I am excited and thrilled, I'm not usually the kind of guy who likes to run his mouth, but I realize I talk about this all the time to everyone I meet. Although it's probably quite natural, considering the randomness of this event, I think I'm still the one most surprised about this, it's starting to get on my nerves. It fills me with doubt, what if after all this boasting I don't get the job, and end up living in my brother's kitchen? Well, then that's life and I'll just need to accept it. But if I get the job, it'll be at least for a year or two, so it will affect this band thing for sure. But I'm not that afraid, since I know this thing is for life, and jobs come and go. And as long as I'm offered a job, I might as well work. Try to learn what's there to learn. I am beginning to understand that I don't completely suck at what I do, that I am worthy of the trust appointed to me, although it took quite a long while to understand. Still, I am grateful for every single moment of my life, no matter what it brings. It's all good, far better than not existing at all.
maanantai 29. syyskuuta 2014
I've been rather busy lately. The new Cut To Fit album is still pending, we have around ten songs and we're getting back to our feet after all the tremors of the past, we're scattered around and we were rather lost for a second, but few weeks ago we got the grip back and we decided to finish this fucking album and probably spend the next year just making albums, since I'm thinking of moving back to Lahti, closer to the guys and our rehearsal space. Besides planning this I've painted shitloads of paintings during the last week.. You can see shitty photos of them in my Deviant-art account, although I'm thinking of putting up a Tumblr-blog for all this art-shit, since it needs to find it's focus. I also made two drone albums, to worship the sounds, resonance and lo-fi-recordings and to ease my grind fix since the guys were busy with their own band stuff. And besides all that, I've done this triphoppy semiacoustic desert music for like million albums. I don't care what you call it, to me it's meditation and mental landscapes, improvisations and zen in practice. And still I feel like I've got too much time in my hands! You need to have something to focus on, since the empty head becomes the devil's house. Although I think the devil made mine it's permanent address with the first breath I took. But this is all I've got and it'll do. DIY to the bitter fucking end. If I had the money, I'd make cassette copies of everything and give them away for free.
lauantai 2. elokuuta 2014
lauantai 26. heinäkuuta 2014
|A Man Who Mistook His Hat For His Life|
Our society is so fixed with possessions it is not even able to realize what is wrong with it. How it can't fit into our brain, that we are just building plastic castles of shit around ourselves, to protect us from the reality of what might be found from within the depths of our mind? We are just projecting, creating needs that don't exist so we can ignore our need for inner dialogue while running after the updated version of whatever. Just sell everything and move to the desert, that's my advise.
And we all know there is no victimless crime, when it actually is a crime. A crime is not what the law says is crime, a crime is an act of violence, being inconsiderate against another human being. Intentionally causing excessive pain and suffering to another human being, whether it is mental or physical suffering. Rape is the worst kind of crime I can imagine, since it is always an attack towards trust, it destroys the whole base for any human connection for another human being. Murder leaves behind an object and mourning second-hand victims, rape leaves behind an emotional wreckage and shame, inflicted on a first-hand victim. Still the punishments for rape in most countries are merely a joke.
Or grin, whatever suits your situation better. We're all hostile towards one another, because everyone else is standing in our spotlight, standing on our way, preventing us from achieving the great things we we're set out to achieve. It's not our fault, it's THEM. We are taught and grown to value the idea of success and power. Some of us idolize the people with the most power and success, the villains, the anti-heroes, and when they act out in the open and execute their plans to achieve all the power, success and respect they thought would bring them all the fore-mentioned, the society gasps in shock and gives these people a lifetime sentence, still claiming that there's just a few bad apples, the system works out just fine.
|Let's Go Out For A Walk...|
One of my earliest, or at least most important memories is the grown ups talking about my father's friend who hung himself during the Finnish recession in the nineties. Later on one of my uncles best friends went out for a walk and had hung himself in the park, from a tree branch. It's a Finnish thing. Recession, desperation, no way out of this trap we have created, in our short-sighted actions we have chosen the branch, we have chosen the rope, we have chosen the steps that lead to this moment.
|Being Greedy Is A Full-Time Job.|
keskiviikko 23. heinäkuuta 2014
We're also having a reprint of patches as soon as possible, since we had not had them in a while and everyone keeps asking them. Also, there will be more shirts as soon as we can figure out what prints we'll have. I'm sure there'll be more of HM-2 -shirts, and some new print. I just need to draw it first...
keskiviikko 16. heinäkuuta 2014
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This first one is mainly acoustic, thoroughly instrumental, affected by pretty much everything I like, infected with influences, stolen things left here and there, scattered around the crime scene, spread around like ash. It's all still same music, same album, same source. Somehow, at some point of my life, I became this transmitter for all these songs. I consider them songs no one else wants, since they come to me so eagerly, jumping out of my fingers before I even grab my guitar. I can still remember the exact moment I had recorded my first song without any aid from anyone else. It was my experiences from a day before, the isolation I felt when a friend of mine wanted his old friends out of his house while he was focusing on substance abuse with his new friends, who were similarly inclined. I did not carry any grudge, since most of our common friends were drunk and loud, and he was just chilling and about to fall asleep, I felt a bit sorry for him. But I remember thinking how the dividing process has now become, how things change and become completely different with time. And I made a song out of it. It was also the last day I saw my grandmother alive, so it felt kinda strange.
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The second album is something I consider bearing some resemblance to early Swans, Godflesh, Scorn, Jesu, or any band the old Napalm Death guys have formed. I can definitely see how grindcore pushes on your definitions of "heavy" as in terms of music, and you want to create something heavier, because the things you hear inside your head keep getting heavier. Being simply fast does not cut it. It needs to satisfy a certain dark part in your soul to really make you complete. Fast is good too, but your vision gets blurry rather quick and it loses the chaotic aspect it used to have. Heaviness comes from the sensation of being uneasy, making it hard to listen, having little to hold on to, distracting, disturbing... that's what I'm trying to create. These are the sort of loops I hear in my head, when I travel buses and trains and walk among other human beings, these are the sounds of urban landscape to me.
torstai 3. heinäkuuta 2014
Here's an music video I made yesterday. It's minimalistic, DIY-sort of thing, it pays tribute to Beckett's Not I and Aldous Huxley's essay The Doors of Perception, since the song deals with our senses and how they create the whole reality around us, how easy they are to manipulate and distract. And our whole concept of reality relies on their input and our interpretation of that input.
maanantai 30. kesäkuuta 2014
Lately I've been reading a lot of Samuel Beckett, poems, novels and interviews.In my opinion, he was a musician in literary world. He was criticised for fingering his own art, but to me it seemed just like arrangement, when you have different instruments, you need to re-think the concept of whatever it is you are doing. I can see the same process going on in his work, when he started translating his own work from France to English and vice versa, it's just adjusting the same work of art into a different instrumentation. The same think when you adapt plays to fit the concept of television, it's just like electrifying acoustic songs. What fascinates me the most is his view on world. I can feel the same frustration over mortality, the sometimes crushing weight of humanity over my shoulders, the consciousness that keeps feeding me hopelesness, melancholy and insecurity. This all, writing and screaming, are the things that help me release all that energy. Peter Dolving said that screaming is wasted energy, a somewhat wasted effort of a frustrated mind. I can see that, but I have no other option. The choice is simple. Either release it, or burn out. You need to feed all this negative shit to the fire, or it will burn you out. The best you can hope is that the flame dies out on exactly the same moment you run out of all the negative shit. Otherwise you'll drown into a tsunami of shit. So, to either burn or drown, these are my options. I just need to balance on the brink and make the most out of it.
I'm eagerly waiting how the other end of our new album will turn out. Now we have approximately 9 minutes ready, so we are half-way through the full-length. This is where it gets truly interesting, since there has been a lot of shit going on in all our personal lives recently, and it will have it's own effect on our music. I'm just waiting to get back to work. Frustrated for every delay. I need this now. We all do.
sunnuntai 22. kesäkuuta 2014
So what can I do now? Pretty much nothing. I'm not used to sitting still, but I understand now, that there is nothing I can do about the situation. I am more than hundred kilometres away, occupied with work, other bands rehearsals and recordings and lacking the money to buy us a whole new gear or a new rehearsal space, so the best thing I can do is stop worrying, stop laying the stress on my friends who are there trying to figure out what happened and what damage did it cost, just wait for more information. And it's not that serious anyway. It's life.
Right now I'm gonna drink another cup of black coffee, watch some Chappelle's show and draw some more donkeys. This is what it looks like inside my brain right now anyway:
sunnuntai 8. kesäkuuta 2014
These two gigs yesterday and Friday have been among the best in my life. I think it has lot to do of getting to scream and sing four days in a row, I've noticed it gets always better towards the end. That's why I have loved the few tours I've got to play, because it always gets better the more you play. It's inspiring. I don't like rehearsing that much unless it has an aim, a show, a recording session or especially making new songs, just rehearsing for the sake of rehearse seems like wasted time from creative point of view, and all that time could be spent exploring new things, trying out something you have not done before instead of grinding the same stone you already know better than the back of your hands. It gets boring, because it does not challenge you mentally. Of course you enhances your endurance and such, but even that makes things more boring, you get two confident and then you start making very stupid mistakes.
All I wanted to say is that this Sunday I'm more than glad to be alive, part of human species, breathing and dying on this planet. It's all just so amazing. Also one of my dearest, closest and most loved brothers is coming back from his two month tour next week. I don't get to see him in weeks, but still knowing he's back in Finland makes me feel better. Then we get back to our upcoming record and hopefully get it out before the fall. It will be our best record ever. I think it will be impossible to top these songs. So this will be the best one ever. I hope we don't fuck it up.
sunnuntai 1. kesäkuuta 2014
Lately I've been listening a lot to Howlin' Wolf and Muddy Waters, but I've always loved John Lee Hooker, Skip James and Lightnin' Hopkins too, all the Blind ones and the Deaf ones and whathaveyous. All blues, no matter who it's played by, if it's played from the heart, it gets my attention. I've seen shitloads of bad blues musicians too. Once I was watching a guy, who had "Devil" in his name. He was this short little guy, overtly educated and poorly stuck in his scales. He played the songs through without emotion, his face void of all feeling. I stared at him with my mouth open, thinking to myself "where the heck is the demonic possession in this performance?!" But of course, he was just there to live out the clichés, and that never did the trick for me. Of course not all the blind one's need to be blind to be Blind Something McWhatever, but still. Howlin' Wolf DID howl a lot....
So, why am I telling all this? Because in the last two days I made these eight blues songs. You might or might not like them, it's really not in my hands, but to me it was just purely out of love for blues. And still I tried to maintain the honesty, writing lyrics that were actually TRUE to myself, instead of just fitting some clichés on top of each other. They are written from my point of view, which usually is the point of view of a one who does not fit his surroundings. But still I have my hopes of finding a place where I can feel I belong. But I just need to see where this river takes me. Until then, it's just trying to be the best person I possibly can. Trying to make the most out of it and to enjoy it.
keskiviikko 28. toukokuuta 2014
I am quite introverted, so I get tired of masses rather quickly. It's just that when there are too many people, they all start playing the part of someone they are not. It's always social tension, that drives them to do so, and I rather interact with people with as little social tension as possible. I like spending time alone with someone, or in small groups, but that usually demands a company where people are capable of having a conversation without shouting. It's nice to be with different people, in a group where we can observe our differencies and make something out of it, to learn to understand other human beings. That is truly awesome.
Of course we all get tired of social networking sometimes. So do I. Sometimes we are forced to encounter inconsiderate people, who do not seem to have any sense of respect towards others, but have a socipathic need to be seen in the spotlight all the time. Greed. It's wanting another plate of food when you're still not finished with the first one. I've written about it before, so I'm not going to waste this space with it. But lately I've been writing a lot of songs about greedy people, how it distracts us and blocks all progress, because some individuals want to have more shit. Because some people are willing to put price tag on anything, just to know that they have the chokehold, the power, to know they are in control... To that sort of people I write songs. I may use either direct or "global" scales, but you can always be sure, that if I am writing the lyrics, they are always symbolic, too. When you have four lines and 43 seconds to a song, you need to really make your thoughts work. That's partly why I love playing grindcore. If you can't make it fit, it's shit. Try again.
tiistai 27. toukokuuta 2014
To me Cut To Fit is pretty heavily about zen. I can't say it's all about it, because there are of course two other human beings involved, and they have their own views and morals and lives which I can't and won't control. As I said in an interview while back, to me grindcore is pretty much a spiritual practice, meditation. It's why I have wanted to keep it simple, just me, my brother and our best friend, the two people who REALLY know me, and who understand how we are supposed to do this thing. It is not an ordinary band. It' our family, our church, our life. It's one voice, one guitar and drums. Nothing more, nothing less. It's minimalistic, it's nothing more than it is. No epic guitar leads, no ego, it's just what it is. And nearly every show, with just few exceptions, has been just pure redemption. Some shows you just play through, and you think you're completely lost. You can't help it. Then you just focus on doing your best, it does not bother me afterwards at all. When we're playing, I don't think. At all. I am void of all things, only the words burning in my spirit. I don't even need to remember them most of the time, unless the song is brand new. I don't want to leave words out or just blabber whatever, the words are the passage to my meditation. If I get out of breath, so be it. The words need to come out of me, so I can be a better person to everyone around me. There's no higher purpose, it just helps me see myself from a distance.
Now, mainly because of this book, I have decided to include zazen meditation among my daily activities, because staring the walls might just be what I need right now. Life is good, right here, right now.
perjantai 18. huhtikuuta 2014
Our drummer, Vili, is now grinding the South America with his other band Inferia. We played couple of shows with them last weekend, and it felt so fucking great to see him play guitar again. It made me think of us back when we were teenagers (well, it's not THAT long time ago, but in this transmissive age you get sentimental over that sort of little things), when he played guitar in our first band. He was awesome back then, I could have just listened to him for hours, and he still is. Everytime he grabs the guitar, you know he's going to nail it. He is quite fucking awesome human being. While he is gone, we have our original drummer playing. It's going to be interesting, and we're going to play probably mostly old songs, which is not that big of a deal, since we never really stopped playing the old songs in the first place. It's just that we have 120 songs, and you need to pick about 18 to fill a twenty-minute show. Do this without any setlists, and you have our gig. Now I think we need to make some sort of setlist, something solid we can rely on while Vili is gone. Just to make things more simple.
I don't know what the future brings, but I hope it will pummel us with more shows, hopefully more and more tours outside Finland and some great individuals, who we can get to know, and form a lifetime friendships to. Everytime I stop and think how many people grindcore has brought to my life, I can't help feeling awestruck. It's just so utterly incredible to think about all this. Thank you. Every single one of you.
tiistai 1. huhtikuuta 2014
Again I felt a bit disorientated when I came back, since I realized that it's strange for me to be here in Finland. People understand my language, but most of them don't get my thoughts at all, whereas it seems everywhere abroad people seem to understand me better though they can't make anything out of my language. I felt humble and priviledged to be there, playing music with these guys, living this life I always wanted to live, I thought my life was peaking night after night. Now that I got back in Finland, could read all the road signs, understood what people said, it all seemed so bleak. I know what's going to happen. To me that's a sort of mojo kill. Still, I know this life may offer me more possibilities like this. I just need to grasp them, exist long enough to see them coming. Everything is nothing but series of coinsidences and opportunities. Thank you for granting us these opportunities. Hopefully we'll be back on the road before the end of this year. We'd like to play in some smaller cities and towns too, so if you know a place that would fit our grinding madness, contact us at email@example.com or facebook or wherever.
sunnuntai 16. maaliskuuta 2014
torstai 6. maaliskuuta 2014
tiistai 4. maaliskuuta 2014
I think this documentary might probably be even more important than the original Bananas, because this deals directly with freedom of speech and all the issues that have come along with the free market: possibility to sue anyone anywhere, anytime, if it seems like that someone is going to cost a corporation more than few dollars. This is a progress we can't have in times like these, when everything is going down the drain anyway. What's even more important, we'd need strong governments that would be able to protect their people from assaults like these, instead of these toothless bitchslaves, that are willing to sell the future generations as a sacrificial goat for the voodoo-economics.
These are the dinosaurs that stand in the way of revolution. These are the people who make sure, that there will be different layers of "truth", and they are mostly just different sorts of propaganda or media control, the real truth buried somewhere underneath exaggeration and half-truths.We need a change, we need a thousand new documentaries, we need millions of won battles to ensure that the world will be left in better condition than it was when we got it from our fathers. We need to try to act humanely towards each other, instead of being just vultures on the same carcass. Congratulations Fredrik Gertten, I know it was few years back, but still it's an important piece of documentary you got yourself there!
In other news, Facebook has filtered our minor tour promotion almost out of everyones walls, so I put this one together, there's some old songs we played live last sunday.
maanantai 24. helmikuuta 2014
And the documentary series The Century of the Self seems to fill this image completely. Since the first world war all the Freudian applications of psychology have had their role in manipulating consumers to believe, that instead of need, they should listen to their desires. Our subconsciousnessess have been pummeled with subliminal, suggestive and hidden messages, meanings and intentions as long as most of us have lived. It has inflicted our politic history everywhere ( I really recommend watching those quite informative four hours of documentaries). Seeing stuff like this makes me mad. I know enough of our recent history and psychology to understand which amount of the information fed to me is exaggerated and which is true.
Advertising is most of the time just plain sick. Especially when it comes to objectifying women. And I'm not going to give you the usual sex appeal rap, although it too has it's place in todays world as well. What disturbs me more is the way women are associated with death in commercials, it seems abnormal, utterly absurd to me. It wakes up my primordial rage reflect, which would make me want to attack every advertising agency on a thousand mile radius, armed with rocks, molotov cocktails and a katana. I know it doesn't sound like something a sensible, humane person would do. But to me, it would seem the most humane act anyone could think of.
Recently the situation in Ukraine has seemed to me at least rather interesting. Of course the sad part is the usual; people get killed, when morons rule. But I am on the people's side on this. After watching the golden tpas in the president's bathroom, personal petting zoos, all that shit, I couldn't help thinking this is exactly what should be going on everywhere, where people face oppression from their authorities. Every state, every government, every parliamentary organ seems to have forgotten, that it has no power, if it has no people. The people are the only thing that constitutes their power, it should be a path of mutual respect, not a master-slave relationship. In this day and age, we don't have time for greed. We don't need people, who think they can take everything in spite of everyone else. Those people are just dead weight. For some reason it seems, that the dead weight seems to stay at the top, and everything else gets thrown out of the burning ship.
sunnuntai 16. helmikuuta 2014
-20.3 Klub Metro, Gdansk, Poland
-21.3 Underground Rock Bar, Poznan, Poland
-22.3 Grodzka 42, Krakow, Poland
-23.3 Plan B, Ostrava, Czech Republic
-25.3 Showbarlang, Budapest, Hungary
-26.3 Das Bach, Wien, Austria
-27.3 Exit Chmelnice, Prague,Czech Republic
We haven't been abroad since Obscene Extreme 2010, so we wish to see at least two faces when we finally get there, wherever that may be! We'll eat nothing beut rice for the next six months for this tour, but who gives a shit, we just want to play!
tiistai 11. helmikuuta 2014
Someone had knocked a half-empty bag of crisps off the counter
And the vermin were enjoying their feast, salt & vinegar
Remains of someones breakfast or lunch or whatever.
The flat was cold, the heating had gone off long ago.
At the far end corner, on a rugged mattress there was a
Shivering, tired ruin of a young man crying.
He did not mind the insects, that were crawling on his floor,
He did not mind the cold, he did not mind the fact
His life had had no meaning in a long while,
He did not even mind the fact that he might be about to die.
Actually, that was the only portion of his life
He seemed to wait anxiously.
Death seemed like an first price on the sucking competition
He called his life. It seemed like every single decision,
Usually a bad one, was leading towards this final culmination point:
Dying in a rented apartment at some suburbia,
With his veins so empty of drugs he could feel the
Cold in his bones. Not on his skin, though.
It seemed like his skin would be on fire, stung with thousands of tiny needles,
Like all the cockraches would be right there under his skin,
Like all the knives in the world would be stored inside his body.
He felt kinda bad, but he could remember one morning worse than this.
Although it seemed distant now, when he was wallowing
In his current ocean of disgust and pain.
It was rare that he could actually remember feeling worse in this sort of state,
But you can understand it feels like the worst hangover ever, when you wake up
Without three of your toes and out of money, food or drugs.
Young man turned around on his side, watched the cockroaches devour his crisps,
But didn't know what to think of it. It had been his last money, but it was yesterday.
This was a new day. A new beginning. A new hell.
He tried to get up, but he couldn't. His body was too weak and the pain was overwhelming.
He made a noise of some sort, it was a long, moany groan, and the cockroaches fleed.
They had learned to avoid his wrath, his leather boots made messy remarks of too slow
Insects on the floor. "Note to the rest: Run faster."
He was sure he would die, he would freeze and starve to death.
But eventually the knives under his skin smoothened their edges,
Sharp pain became blunt pain
And his eyes adjusted to the painful light.
He gathered his strength and rose to his feet, like the first mammal ever to attempt
Walking on two feet, out of balance, disoriented.
He took slow, careful steps and crushed the crisps on the floor.
He got out of the door, in to the small corridor, went to the first floor
And out of the door. He went outside, and saw a homeless guy on a dirty street.
There was graffiti on the nearby wall and the wind was restlessly kicking around
Yesterday's newspaper. He passed the homeless person who was left staring at his back,
He passed the graffiti, he passed the newspaper, he crossed the street and went to a nearby shop.
He stole a Kitkat and ate it as soon as he got out.
It tasted better than anything he had ever eaten before.
He looked down at his shoes. They were almost worn out,
They wouldn't crush insects for long.
He sighed. His life was way too hard to be dealt with right now.
He wanted nothing more than a fix. A justification for his guilt, anything at all.
He felt sick, he felt like he could not live with his self.
He could not live without a fix and couldn't live if he got one.
He'd probably just overdose and get it over with.
Life, when did you become so intolerably miserable, he thought to himself as he
Crawled back into his hell.
maanantai 10. helmikuuta 2014
Although it is not yet confirmed, it is an interesting and at least to me, the most logical explanation of the universe. Though I am not completely sure if they actually DID confirm all this while ago. Anyway. This is exactly what I have always struggled with, my whole life. The question of existence. I have always been terrified by the idea of non-existent eternity that awaits me, and everyone else, yes you too, in a few decades. I wrote the song Existence while I was sitting in commuter train, heading back home after a long day at work, in Cardiff, Wales. Here it is, if you have not heard it:
"These eyes that burn these visions to my soul
Keep engraving golden letters in this piece of coal
Like a needle piercing through the layers of skin
Until there's nothing left but space.
Between every molecule of me,
Between every atom,
Between every particle,
The empty space that we call soul.
The essence of me, that tireless need
the will that burns behind these eyes
that keeps burning these golden letters
into this empty space between my particles.
That is truly to exist
In such many levels simultaneously
and still be uncertain
whether you exist or not."
The point in all this being how fucked up it is to mourn for the upcoming the loss of reality, when you are really not certain about the reality you inhabitat in the first place. It is kind of a "part 1" for The Doors of Deception. My eyes, shape my perception of this state I assume to be the "reality", my senses create this world and I am completely at their mercy. It's nothing but frequencies and resonance, and I only have this set of tools of conversion to make something out of it. Still, even between my every particle, no matter how solid I appear to be, is nothing but empty space. So, what are we really? Tiny vibrations on a cosmic scale, nevertheless always as important as a super nova explosion, since everything appears to be infinately connected with everything. We are all one, in that sense. Different aspects of the same thing, I am still not sure this goes for consciousness too, but maybe animals, who lack the disturbing "I", feel this connection more profoundly, since there are no egoistic distractions, just senses and urges, and some harsh emotional systems.
I'm not sure what I want to say right now, I'm too hungry to think, but I think the next Cut To Fit album may seem even more tripped out than the previous one. We are going to use samples from There Will Be Blood, and the first four songs are dealing with greed. I try to avoid hardcore punk clichés and make something out of it. But of course there will be some bursts of random anger too. You just can't help it, if you have watched a single documentary in the last few years.
tiistai 14. tammikuuta 2014
When Vili came back, everything just clicked. This is a band of brothers. It's the only way it will be. Us three, nothing more, nothing less. We understand, that we are all replacable, but this combination of minds and creative energy just works. We're all on the same level. Cut To Fit is the main thing, but we don't need to force it. If there are other things to work out momentarily, we can wait. If someone can't get to the show, we are all replacable temporarily, but the music we make is ours. It's the most important thing in our lives, and to me at least it's a Pollock-sort of explosive, fragmented painting of our personal growth as human beings, it's a psychedelic trip of resonance, frustration and blastbeats. It has been nothing less than fucking awesome, and I hope it will take me to more mind bending and unexpected situations. Everything it has brought us has been a pleasant surprise, since we had no expectations whatsoever.
What got me to walk down the memory lane? I did an e-mail interview with Blasting Days Blog (e-mail interviews are a bit tricky, since I had a sort of way to just keep on writing when no one's there to put their foot down at some point, sorry..) and was "forced" to remember the early days. I usually don't stare at the past, because I see all the interesting things in the future. I'm not sure how much I can reveal of our plans, but we're most likely coming to a short European tour soon. But I'm a sceptic, so I don't believe it's happening before Vili and Eetu are drunk off their asses with Polish beer.