Making music is enough to make any person humble. I really can't understand the sort of rock'n'roll star- state of mind, where music is just an excuse to escape your dayjob as an accountant and where the songs are just meaningless cliches piled on top of each other and glued together with hi-fi production. To me making music is taking a trip of some sort, it's tripping in your own subconscious and exploring your roots, and getting to know yourself. It's an on-going quest, I am in search of my Self, so that when I find and am able to name all the things that define and form my Self, I can leave them all behind and therefore annihilate my Self. To get rid of it completely. And why do I need to take this trip, why do I need to annihilate my Self? Only because of the fact, that I am too in love with this consciousness, that explores this world and experiences it every moment. I would be more than happy to continue this existence well beyond the approximate of 70 years we are given on this planet, I would be happy to go on until time loses it's meaning and we are all back to square one with our universe, just keep on observing this world and it's inhabitants.
I need to understand the essence of myself, I need to become selfless, to make the dying easier. I can not accept death as this being that I am. I love life too much. I hate this world on most accounts, but I love life, and I love every living thing on this planet, and all the lifeless things maybe even more. Music, arts, science, culture, everything we have achieved as species, the picture we have painted as a whole about mortality and humanity, all the great works of art and all this life that surrounds it. It is just amazing, to begin with. And it all affects you, everything you see, you automatically learn, you absorb it and rebuild it in a completely different form. It is what being me actually is, building different images from the same figures and forms we all have. When I make music, I get closer to the pure flow of "things". There just is the endless stream of visions that become sounds. We we're talking about this with our drummer last night. When someone else hears your song, he or she takes a look in your family photo album. It's all there in the song. You having a letter of rejection from a job or school you really wanted, getting laid, going through a difficult relationship, death, whatever. It's all there, But what the person sees, is just a single snapshot of that certain day that certain song was made. That is why albums, in my opinion, are called albums in the first place. They contain various snapshots from your life. In that essence, these two albums I will link (again, I know) are not albums, since I did both of them last week. They are merely the subconscious gone wild, without suppression of any kind, meant to inspire someone to make something with these same building blocks. I hope someone somewhere out there can relate to any bit of this, it is not easy listening, it is meditational, acoustic drone, or something like that. If you can make something out of it, I'd be more than glad to see what it made you do. Anytime in the future.