maanantai 25. huhtikuuta 2011

Organizing shows

Organizing shows for other bands is, well, fun. It takes your mind off of your own fucking ass, gives you an opportunity how things work out twice as smoothly when you have A GOOD BAND to offer. People actually ANSWER your e-mails and try to behave. Of course they are still skeptic when the "music" is mostly just bashing and banging, but when they see 397985703797398652564788 myspace friends of the band, they smell money and see that this may work. Naah, luckily enough with grindcore there's some certain places you can play, some people you can sleep at, some solidarity and unity.

When your helping some other bands out, it just makes you feel good. You don't feel like complete shithead all the time, you can take a night off. Sometimes the favors get returned, sometimes not, but that's not the point of doing things. When I help someone out, I don't expect them to help me back. I'm way too deep in my pessimism to believe that most of these people remember me in a year. The Arson Project, I believe, was an exception, becouse we spent one sweaty and fun day at my place ( the fan was turned to the max until it broke, there were six people sleeping in the same room and the air was so thick you could throw anything, and it would have just floated there!) we jammed and watched some episodes of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and we all just felt connected. At least I think so. And that's also one of the best parts: Meeting people you would never meet otherwise.

I have to say that I really love my life. Cut To Fit has shitloads of all small good stuff going on, and I rather do many great little things right, than fuck up two huge things. And we get to play with some great bands. We're also working on some new songs, and I hope they'll work themselves out. In the meantime, while we are already running out of Babylon Burns', we decided to do some Fire Works'. 100 of them too, I'll get up to it next week. After the gigs. I'll let you know when there's something to know.

keskiviikko 20. huhtikuuta 2011

About Justice and Booze (and why I'm not drinking it)

I was reading Plato's State, and I got all the way to the page nineteen before the great inspiration struck me, and I was unable to concentrate. Sokrates was arguing about Justice, and what it means. What sort of virtue or attribute is justice? He and his opponent came up to conclusion of justice being something that is needed especially, when the actual THING is not needed. When you don't play your instrument, it's best kept safe in the hands of righteous man. Not in the hands of some drug addict who'd sell it for the price of his next fix. Speaking of which I had a somewhat strange experience yesterday.

I was speaking to some (somewhere around 50 people) youth/social workers in our town about my lifestyle, life without drugs or alcohol. It was strange becouse it was part of this drug education day, and I had to speak to my own co-workers, after the recovering drug addict had told his life story, which was far more exciting than mine. He had six years more life behind him than I, so what am I to preach about anything, to people who were mostly older than me? No one. Partially, this made it easier, and also harder. I mentioned the possibility that I may find the joy of drinking even tomorrow, and I don't know this today, so I speak only for myself, only for the life I have lived this far. I spoke about my youth, how I was not considered "different" in a little redneck town, but when I moved to this "big city", everyone considered it weird not to drink booze.

Nowadays everyone knows it, and I think they also know that does not make me look down on others, or judge their drinking. I'm ok with everyone else being drunk around me, I don't mind. If I wanted to drink, I would. I don't need to explain it to anyone, although here in Finland it is so normal to loosen your brain cells with booze, that you'll always have to explain if you don't. I just think that when we are possibly the only existing species capable of thinking (as far as we know) We really should not waste that opportunity. I know this is also the leading reason TO drink at all. The burden is too heavy to carry, and we don't want to think. We escape it, unconsciously. It's our way of handling the responsibility of surviving: we don't want to.

It's also funny, how we here in Finland consider ourselves great drinkers, but we drink mainly some light shit. We we're playing at Czech Republic last summer, and our drummer and my brother went drinking with the belgians, and they we're down after a handful of beers. Everyone in every country drinks, we are just the only ones making a number out of it. But anyway, there I was, explaining my "illness" of not drinking. I made sure to include this has nothing to do with straight edge or anything like that, I eat junk food and have sex, I have nothing against drugs, I just don't recommend them to anyone. If you have to do drugs, PLEASE make something out of it. Write a book. Paint paintings, write music, do a sculpture, anything. Don't just abuse them and let them go to waste. And after the inevitable rehab, observe these works of diluted mind. Observe yourself and learn. I also compared reading books with doing drugs: It's fun when you start, gets more annoying and frustrating every day, and you just wish you're finished before you are completely fucked up.

Back to the justice. In my opinion, it is something we possess, something that guides us to make decisions in the light of our current situation. We don't really know if our decisions are right or wrong, but we tend to do the "right thing". Later it may turn out that it had more negative effects than it had positive effects, but that does not make it a "bad" decision. We tried the best we could. I think most of those bad decisions are made becouse we are uninformed, or ignorant of other's choices. And our choices cross and ruin their's, and result in some damage on ourselves or our relatives/friends/etc. This view has been refined when I've seen the good and evil crash ( when I was a kid, I was told that Americans we're good, and Russians we're bad, but we have seen this image crash and burn as the good guys have made more bad things than the bad ones ever did) and make way to this way more chaotic way of being. Everyone is individual now, everyone else is bunch of enemies, homo homini lupus est, and so on. World has slipped into anarchy, but in the wrong sort of anarchy. In this anarchy we are afraid of eachother, instead of building the world on trust, and then minding our own things, as we should if you ask me.

torstai 7. huhtikuuta 2011

"And I think to myself: what a fucked up world.."

Luckily enough (for the sake of his own mind) Louis Armstrong did not live to see the world we live in today. He would probably have to reconsider his words about this "wonderful world", and the people who inhabitat this blue planet. We have grown capable of such monstrosities I would not have believed 15 years ago. Sure there's been school massacres even before I was born, and I'm not some hypocrite Jesus Christ to bear the sins and grief of mankind, but since when did it become a norm, that when you are about to shoot yourself, you need to take as many people, usually kids unable to defend themselves, with you?

I know this world is completely different world than when I was a kid. My childhood was at least safe. Now everyone's packing heat, kids are selling drugs and carrying weapons to ensure their own safety. They should not do that. 15-year-old is still a fucking child, and should be able to live his/her childhood in peace, far from the ugliness of mankind. Maybe have some sneak previews through the first hangovers and such, but not most certainly earn money by dealing shit that kills people. Or having to run from some fucking brick who decided that he is having his vengeance through murdering children.

Here's a hint: DO NOT KILL ANYONE. I'm not too old, but old enough to know that there's thousands of people dying everyday, and they are forced to die, not being able to live their lives to their natural endings. It should be a basic right to anyone who's been thrown into this world. Getting to live their life as full as possible. I know there's too much of us, but we have also seen that nature's taking care of this situation.

I'm starting to believe what Kurt Vonnegut notes in his book Galapagos: Human brains are too big, too "great" and harmful to evolution. So they have invented millions of ways of getting rid of themselves: Automation, nuclear warfare, gunpowder and guns, swords, greed, lies... All reflecting the same need to return among animals, to destroy "self", and become an instinct-driven mammal again. Maybe this is what our extinction-seeking brains are trying to do to us as species. Reduce us back to square one. Being an animal.

And this is why we repeat these harmful and unwanted tragedies, such as school massacre in Rio De Janeiro today, selecting the cheapest materials for building houses on vulcanic activity hazard zones, and War on Terror, which has been nothing but Struggle For Resources And Sending Our Morons With Lowest Level Of Education To Slaughter Civilians Without Consequences. All this, to show our brains how dangerous they are, and how we should reconsider our own place and meaning in this universe. Really?

This world is ruled by fear and paranoia, as I stated in a Cut To Fit song on Babylon Burns (Western Decline). It was mainly a commentary on the western politics, bringing CHRISTIAN peace and democracy to countries with their own beliefs and traditions, force feeding our own values to someone else. But our grief and sorrow, the silent despair we used to have, has now been replaced with fear and paranoia. We're shooting "possible" enemies, not caring too much about individual people with individual agendas, they're all just enemies as far as we're concerned. This is something that really bugs me. Not just in global politics, but in small things and in everyday life.

The lack of trust. Most annoying thing I know. I trust people. Maybe too much, becouse I blabber this sort of "personal" stuff on the internet. I trust you bear even a small, hacked up piece of brain, so that you understand what I mean even though I know I'm not expressing myself too clearly. You, as a reader, have an duty to think, to ponder this shit inside your little head, and form an opinion. I don't care if it is for or against what I think, as long as it's yours.

maanantai 4. huhtikuuta 2011

"in it 4 life!"

I just finished watching a crappy documantary about violent straightedge groups united under the common name of FSU. I know I may be three or four years late with a post like this, but still, it made me think of youth, anger, frustration and group mentality overall in a bigger picture. Since the beginning of our utopias of big societies and better worlds, there's always been a group of people that is not included in any of those fantasies: The Young and Angry males. In ancient Rome most of their undisputed will and energy was put in use in form of fighting wars against other angry youngsters, but since that, they've always been unwanted and left out, because they are too unpredictable.

Because of feeling righteously out of place, these people have always been fond of forming their own families and unions, when their bonds to their real families and grip on the system loosen too much. Their groups offer an alternative for bureaucracy, needless bullshit people have to go through in their everyday lives, and the power to actually change things. They offer the power of being MAN, young and angry male. "You don't want to deal with us, we'll make sure you'll hear from us." And This is the main reason we've ever had neo-nazi groups, motorcycleclubs, organized crime and the sorts of SFU. Where SFU differs, though, is the fact that it was based on making the streets safer, fighting such groups and drugs and crime with violence.

Personally I understand this sort of anarchy, and it feels justified to the point they actually managed to clean the streets and make their environment a better place. But that documentary shows how it all went beyond that. They should have stopped there, given themselves 'at a boy! and just smiled the rest of their fucking days. But instead they just slowly replaced the groups and drugdealers they defeated, formed too tight union to give it any space to breathe or adapt. In the end they we're no better than any neo-nazi group, and it was not justified by the single fact they did not use drugs. I don't do drugs, and I still don't feel myself a better person than some of my friends that do. It's all just different set of life choices, and that's that. Some people find peace in drugs, some people find it other way, but no one finds peace in destruction. It is just the seek for short-term satisfaction, and then looking for the next fix of the same adrenaline. Sounds a lot like drug abuse to me.

As much as I think I'd rather have these guys around me than neo-nazi groups we have here, I can't help thinking would I be any more safe around them? I mean, I share most of their views, even the violent behavior to some extent, but what if someday on a show some of them would get the picture I deserved to be beaten up becouse I look like a hippie. Because in this documentary, they admitted beating up people just for their looks. I know you can be skinhead without any nazi stuff attached to it. To me this sort of behaviour seems, wait for it, IGNORANT.

Gangs overall, whether they consider themselves gangs or not, are a solid proof of being lost, becouse they offer fast and sharp answers to family issues. Usually people grow out of them, but some of course dedicate their lives to such activity. I think you won't find what you seek, but who am I to say? Maybe they really are at peace with themselves, maybe even more than I am. If so, keep fucking shit up, but never stop questioning your own motives, and thinking if this is the reason you joined the gang in the first place. If the group like FSU fills it's goal and the streets are safe, stop making them dangerous and rejoice for the peace you have achieved.

For example in the fictional series Sons of Anarchy gang life is represented as mentally and spiritually deep and full of conflicts. The club keeps the town of Charity safe from other harm and wants only peace and loving and understanding for it's people. And to me it raises a question if that picture is really polished and over-romanticized with a broad brush, and the clubs are full of drooling killing machines with peanut brains and too many guns. I sure hope not, becouse all sorts of illegal gangs and alliences have quite a grip on societies everywhere, beneath the layors of police claiming they have situations under control. Usually they don't.

Usually they don't control things at all. Their authority is restricted by limitations of law, and they fight against something that does not play by their rules. We can't weed this sort of activity out, not as long as we don't want to accept these rebellious youths as part of our societies. I admit I could easily join something like Fight Club, becouse I am being pushed out everytime I reach my hand towards the system. This has happened many times, and I'm just lucky that I am able to produce text and intellectualize the shit out of these rejections and denials. Still at times, I find myself thinking of revolution of any sort. I know what I'm talking about, becouse I feel somehow sympathy for these neglected, invisible men, I know I could be just like them. I just keep myself busy and reading something to fill my mind with enough questions, so that I would not slip into "any answer to any question will do"-state of mind. Let's hope it stays that way.